I wasn’t sure if I would write about my covid experience, until I was reprimanded today on the phone, by someone who hasn’t spoken to me in years, to get the vaccine. I’m taken aback by the audacity of this person to think she is in any position to demand something of such gravity, and chastise me when she has had no interest in or connection to my life in so long.
But let me shift perspectives.
She was upset. She was scared, frantic. She just learned her ex-husband - her son’s father, as well as mine - was being hospitalized for Covid, and didn’t have enough intel to know how serious things were and if he was going to be ok. (It didn’t help that he texted her that he was in the hospital fighting for his life, which is a bit of an embellishment.)
OUR COVID STORY
In truth, he is ok, but not doing well. Before self-admitting to the hospital, he spent about 4 days moaning and mumbling to himself, barely able to move, and behaving oddly - discombobulated and slurring, almost as if he had dementia or a mild stroke. He fell down the stairs 3 times - the last time was so serious I thought for sure he was dead or severely mangled: he face plastered to the floor and his legs twisted like a rubbery cartoon character, surrounded by the glass he just broke by falling into the kitchen island (my items, as luck would have it, but hey I’ll give him a pass under the circumstances).’
After lying there like a puddle for quite a while, and after I cleaned up the glass, he miraculously walked away unscathed and unphased, but continued to behave erratically. He had a fever over 102 for days, and was making odd breathing noises, even though when I asked him, he reported his breathing was fine. I urged him to consider going in to get care, which he finally did simply because he was afraid he was dehydrated. He wanted a fluids IV, but ended up on oxygen and a number of other medications, and has now been in the hospital for 5 days with no exit plan.
This is Covid for a 65 year old man with no known comorbidities, who was fine just the day before the virus manifested in him.
A few weeks ago I started feeling that aura of something being amiss that lets us know we should probably take it easy before we “come down” with something. I rested for a couple days and upped my vitamins, hoping to cut it off at the pass. I thought I did, feeling ok for a couple more days…and then I didn’t.
What started out as exhaustion and a headache went from 0 to 60 within 24 hours; I spent the next week in bed with the worst body aches of my life as if my legs were locked into a medival torture device. I rode a roller coaster fever that would blaze then break over and over, accompanied by vertigo, nausea, and dread. A couple days in, I completely lost my sense of smell and taste. While lying there letting my body burn off what afflicted it, I prayed Psalm 23 over and over to calm my anxiety that caused my heart to race and a feeling of hyperventilation. This anxiety was more than just worry over my well-being; this panic was part of the illness itself, gnawing on my mind. It was feeding me thoughts of doom, as if by weakening my thoughts it would be able to weaken my physical ability to fight it off. I would calm down, sleep, wake drenched in sweat, muster up enough energy to walk to the bathroom, and then crash back into bed with another wave of the whole cycle repeating.
The worst of it lasted a week… it began to wane after about 11 days - although I then developed a sinus problem and a hacking cough… I felt I could actually say I was recovering about 14 days out, and now 22 days out, I can say that I’m functional, but I’m still not fully recovered. I am weak, get exhausted quickly, and just generally feel unwell. My sinuses are clammy, I’m still coughing, I have brain fog and feel spacey, and I still can’t smell or taste anything. My personality is not the same right now.
This is Covid for a 41 year old in great physical shape, who has not been sick with a sneeze in 2 years, who was hiking rocky trails and rocking out with my band before the virus manifested.
My son got it too. He burned like the sun for 2 days, told me he felt miserable, slept like a felled tree the entire time, developed a mild cough, and was completely back to his normal self in 48 hours. That is Covid for an 11 year old in good health who plays too many video games.
THE FRANTIC EX: RESPONDING TO MEDICAL JUDGEMENT
I wanted to get this down for the record, because I have been vocal on this blog about being unvaccinated, and being against medical mandates and social shut-down. However I have not been in denial about the existence or seriousness of Covid. If this is a confusing stance, let me use the aforementioned phone conversation with the frantic woman to explain my position a bit more:
Frantic Ex (FX): “[Shame on you - now look what you’ve done] Get Vaccinated!”
This is the root of the problem: the assumption that others are irresponsible, ignorant, wreckless, and selfish for not taking a drug that was rushed to market under emergency allowances (as opposed to the normal protocol for approving drugs). To start demanding people do this or else they are guilty of harming others or themselves is unfair, and in terms of a government demanding it, tyrannical, because this is not some sort of magic bullet that will save the world, yet everyone is treating those who don’t believe that it is like some sort of tin foil hat “science deniar.” Vitamin C and D and Zinc have far more research proving how necessary they are for you (with zero side-effects), and yet no one screams for others to ingest this, less they catch a cold and spread it to someone else.
FX: “I am pro-vaccine!”
I never said I wasn’t. I am currently saying I am not pro this vaccine, in my particular case. (This person, by the way, is pro-abortion and would be the first to say “My body my choice.”) Others may decide, as they have the right to do, that it is what is best for them in their circumstance. And let’s be clear: technically this is not even a vaccine in the traditional sense. This should more aptly be called a gene therapy, and Bill Gates has referred to it as “software.” From the CDC website (my underlining):
To trigger an immune response, many vaccines put a weakened or inactivated germ into our bodies. Not mRNA vaccines. Instead, mRNA vaccines use mRNA created in a laboratory to teach our cells how to make a protein—or even just a piece of a protein—that triggers an immune response inside our bodies. That immune response, which produces antibodies, is what protects us from getting infected if the real virus enters our bodies.
This is a type of technology, not a vaccine in the traditional sense that up until now is what we are used to when we think of being inoculated. So to call it a vaccine is a misnomer...although just this past year, the dictionary definition of vaccine has been changed to accommodate this new type of technology .
To be fair, just because it is a different method does not mean intrinsically that it is ineffective or dangerous, but it is misleading to get people to believe that it functions the same way as a traditional vaccine, and we do not yet know what this type of technology does to the body long term.
FX: “The articles you have been reading are pseudo-science.”
Unfortunately (if one wants easy answers), there are so many articles out there about Covid-19 and the “vaccines” that are on all sides of all fences. If you wanted to find 100 articles that are pro-vaccine, you can, and likewise if you want to find just as many that are against it, you also can, and they can all be from equally credible sources.
It’s not as if I am in the habit of reading articles from QAnon or The National Enquirer. It infuriates me when people assume I don’t know how to do research, that I don’t do my due diligence, and that I don’t care about the truth. I have not cared to talk about this topic before because everyone has their sources, their credentials, their opinions, and their personal experiences, and throwing my hat onto the ping-pong table won’t do much.
Here’s what can help you when it comes to research: there is the “scientific method”, and there is scientism. The former is inquiry: testing and questioning from anyone interested in honest discovery within the world…the latter is the idea that capital S “Science” is the ultimate path to knowledge and wisdom, in which the scientist is some type of god. This does not take into account the spiritual realm, and allows no questioning. It is a religion hiding in plain sight.
Dr Anthony Fauci gave us a perfect example of this on MSNBC when he said, “it’s very dangerous - attacks on me are attacks on Science. So if you are trying to get at me…you’re really attacking Science.”
Do your research, check your sources, pray, seek wise counsel, do a gut-check, and form a conclusion the best you can for your personal situation: for what else can someone be held responsible? What makes someone “wrong” for doing so?
FX: “There are dangerous side effects to Covid. Here’s XYZ...”
I don’t deny them. AND let me count the stories, first hand accounts, videos, interviews, and lawsuits that document the dangerous side effects of the vaccine. Not everyone experiences vaccine damage, just as not everyone experiences Covid damage. Some don’t get anything at all. And some people die - from both. In either case, you are taking a risk. That being the case, a person, upon doing their diligence, should be allowed to decide which risk they’d like to take: catching Covid, or taking the vaccine.
Might I add that Covid comes with natural lifelong immunity, while the vaccine demands constant boosters. Anthony Fauci and Bill Gates - major vaccine advocates (profiting from the drug sales and publicity) - have both admitted recently that the vaccines they have doled out thus far aren’t cutting the mustard and new boosters will have to be taken. How many into the future will be required?
FX: “True, those with the vaccine can still catch Covid, but the effects aren’t as bad as someone who wasn’t vaccinated.”
That’s not proven; there’s no way to truly test if this is actually the case since each person reacts differently to both the vaccine and Covid.
Also, if you can still catch Covid with the vaccine (and thus spread Covid with the vaccine…), then what is the point of the vaccine? Asking for a friend.
FX: “I hope he sees now how important it is to be vaccinated and gets it when he recovers.”
Well, it’s a little late for that now, don’t you think?. Assuming we develop antibodies for the virus after recovering from the infection, then are we not already protected, thus not needing a protection created in the laboratory?
EVERYONE’S GOT THEIR OPINION, AND PEOPLE CARE…DON’T UNFRIEND EACH OTHER
Friends, I cringe writing this post. As stated above, everyone has their opinion, many zealously so; it is a very sensitive topic and I’ve honestly not wanted to touch it. But now that I’ve had Covid and seen what it can do to someone first hand - my not normal self and my son’s father struggling in the hospital, I feel like I have a bit more of a voice.
For us, it was intense…but it wasn’t Ebola or anything. It was a nasty flu, which I have had before, and no one freaked out at me when that happened. I was in bed for a month, the hospital twice…and I fully recovered. It’s not as bad for everyone, and yet for others, it’s worse. Just less than a month out from infection and I am still not “normal”, though I am functioning again...more slowly than I’d like to be, but I am ok.
My son’s father and I both made the decision based on research (in his case, he has a newsletter in which neutral doctors contribute, and he self-published a book on Covid-19) not to get the jab. I stand by that decision. It is not a miracle drug and I should not be coerced into taking it, and it is up to me if I think it’s worth being infected with Covid. During my infection, I stayed home to protect others, and now assumedly I will be immune and will be incapable of spreading it.
Additionally, I seriously have trouble trusting people like Fauci, Gates, bureaucrats, drug companies, and government institutions. Fauci lied under oath about gain of function research on Covid-19. Gates has been in hot water in the past for distributing vaccines to 3rd world countries that caused sterilization. Big Pharma is in it for the big money, there is conflict of interest with those who are profiting off investments, the government has been involved in drug experimentation on the public in the past (See the Tuskegee experiment, and MKUltra documents - just for starters), as well as telling us - even innocently - that some things are completely safe, though turned out later not to be (see DDT’s wide use, and Mercury in teeth).
In 1976, a Swine Flu vaccine campaign was rolled out. The CDC came up with an official consent form, stating that the Swine Flu vaccine had been tested…but in fact, the one that was tested was swapped out; 46 million American’s received “X53A”, a newly developed vaccine which was not field tested. Similar to the Covid vaccine, the Swine Flu shot was rushed to market out of fear, and also similar to reports of the Covid vaccine side effects, here’s what an article from History.com says of the Swine Flu shot:
As public service advertisements urged citizens to “get a shot of protection,” millions of Americans rolled up their sleeves as vaccinations started on October 1. While Ford quipped the shot “may mean a few sore arms,” the press reported the possibility of much worse consequences after three senior citizens died of heart attacks shortly after receiving vaccinations at the same Pittsburgh clinic. While investigations determined no connection between the deaths and the vaccine, a number of states temporarily suspended the program.
Although photographs of Ford receiving a vaccination were distributed in hopes of rallying support, public confidence was further shaken when dozens of vaccine recipients were diagnosed with Guillain-Barré syndrome, a rare neurological disorder causing muscle weakness, tingling in the extremities and paralysis.
Sorry, but you’ll just have to forgive me for being skeptical; if such a thing were truly so effective, so safe, and such a no-brainer, why would we be coerced, mandated and scolded so severely for not taking it? Me thinketh thou protesteth too much…And shame on the CDC for not being more forthcoming about the serious vaccine injuries on the list of possible side effects. These are well documented.
Underlying all of this is fear. And I’m not talking about fear of the virus or the “software”. No, worse than that - we are afraid of each other. What I find interesting is that in many circumstances, it is the unvaccinated who are the least afraid of both the virus and others, and it is the vaccinated who are afraid of both.
I want to be clear that there are some unvaccinated “freedom” folk who aren’t taking Covid seriously enough - they don’t stay home when they are sick, and they talk about Covid not even existing. Their cavalier attitude is not grounded in reality…but I could turn my attention to the other side and point out that if people are vaccinated, they should be the least afraid, otherwise they are equally not grounded in reality, taking an experimental drug - and giving it to their kids - that they aren’t convinced actually protects them from those who don’t take it.
And let’s say my son’s father and I don’t fully get back to “normal”, ever. Who's to say that if we had taken the jab we would not have been injured? There’s no way to know; we made our choice in a confusing time of a dark pandemic with a dark medical agenda. It’s dark either way. Light a candle, put your trust in the Lord, and walk your path as best you can.
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