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Writer's pictureThe Other Mary

Burn in Hell? The Pyrotechnics of Burnout & Deconstruction

Updated: Jun 19, 2021

BURNOUT PART 2 of 2 (Read Part 1 HERE)


I recently listened to a podcast discussion on an article the hosts read aloud about burnout. Burnout used to be something a person could only get if they worked too much - like work in the traditional sense: at an office, or as the president of a corporation or bank. Now, apparently burnout is being applied to almost anything, including marriage, parenting, and faith. Interestingly, this is because we apply the word “work” to all these things: we work at our marriage, work toward being a good parent, work on our diet, work on our behavior, exercise is called a work-out, and, as they pointed out, even something as restorative as a massage is called “body work.”


Burned out on long distance marriage: date night with a screen.


Just so we’re all on the same page, let’s define burnout:


“Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. As the stress continues, you begin to lose the interest and motivation that led you to take on a certain role in the first place. Burnout reduces productivity and saps your energy, leaving you feeling increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, and resentful. Eventually, you may feel like you have nothing more to give.”

The podcasters discussed points raised in the article: who gets to officially claim they are burned out? Under what circumstances? Ultimately it was decided that burnout can happen to people in any of these various types of “work,” because burnout is part of the human condition: life is work - hard work. They even gave examples of prominent Bible characters reaching a state of burnout and crying out to God how they just could not go on. If it is just human condition, they pondered as to whether or not claiming burnout was a self-aggrandizing conclusion some people reach by overvaluing themselves and the work they do, above the shared human experience.


What most interested me about the conversation was when they discussed people getting burned out on church/the Bible/Christianity, and how this has contributed to dwindling numbers in church attendance, and how many people sheepishly admitted to enjoying an extended respite from church attendance through Covidtide (and their reluctance to return).


So then, my beloved, even as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. - Philippians 2:12 (ESV),

AKA:

Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. (NLT)

(I include this translation because it does a better job at avoiding the mistranslation of faith being “a work”…but that’s a whole other conversation…)



Something I’ve been chewing on for a while - the phenomenon of Christian deconstructionism (see further mention of it in my previous post) - finally clicked: burnout is the reason most deconstructionists break down (and from) their faith: it simply has become “too much.” These folks experienced too much demand to practice, too much pressure to uphold certain beliefs, and too much mental exhaustion to maintain faith. Feeling like - as the burnout definition puts it - they have nothing more to give, they bow out. Belief became too complicated and seemed to have diminishing returns.


Look, I’ve been there. I have wrestled with my faith - still do! I’ve gotten angry, frustrated, confused. So while I have sympathy, I’m going to call shenanigans.


If experiencing burnout is in fact part of the human condition, who are we to indeed self-aggrandize our struggles to the point where we get to walk away when the going gets tough, and actually be praised for it? That’s right: most deconstructionists are lauded as being brave - heroes, trailblazers, who did the “hard” thing of walking in doubt instead of faith, confronting friends and family still within the fold (aka not as enlightened, or at least not struggling as hard as I am). I’ve heard some use the phrase “coming out of the spiritual closet” as a post-believer, talking about how scary and difficult it was, garnering much sympathy.


But, in actuality, it is easier to give up. It’s easier to tear something apart than to build something up, or even maintain something. How challenging is it to architecturally plan out a skyscraper and come up with the manpower and resources to build it, vs how quickly it can be rendered to dust in a demolition? How many times have we heard Ma and Grandma say at Thanksgiving dinner, "it took 2 days to make and 2 minutes to devour." The struggle of the faithful fish swimming against the cultural current can be exhausting. I understand the temptation and apparent liberation of surrendering to the flow of the world.


Audrey Assad, well known Christian singer who started publicly deconstructing over the past few years, gives us a clue into how the process starts:


“It started with hell and then I just plunged into the letting go process of all of the things that were sort of built on it…”

Yes - that is a hard one to deal with: hell. That’s where her unraveling began, at this awkward point of spiritual smoldering many Christians (and non-Christians) struggle with. But rather than hold that tension while maintaining her faith, she let go. Easier not to believe in hell than deal with the consequences of it. And notice how once she let go of hell, how swiftly the rest of Christianity just slipped off her shoulders. This of course is because the crux (pun intended) of the Christian faith is salvation: Christ. Why do we even need salvation and Christ in the first place? Sin: hell. So let go of that, and well, why then need any of it?


I’m not saying Ms. Assad didn’t do legit faith wrestling and honest investigation; she is an intelligent, talented, deep person and I am positive she did. However that is a key factor I am noticing in Christian burnout and inevitable deconstruction: intellectualism.


Most of the Progressive (often partially or fully deconstructed) Christian friends I have are hyper intellectuals with letters behind their names, seminary degrees, or wear collars. They’ve studied psychology and gone on silent retreats. Most of them have impressive libraries and vocabularies. I have no doubt they all thought long and hard over their faith…but by what means? With what resources? It seems that all this hard work lead to mental exhaustion, and again as our definition of burnout puts it, it leaves you “feeling increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, and resentful.”


@theliturgists (Progressive spiritual podcast that deconstructs Christianity) recently asked their audience how believing in hell affected them. Along with Assad's featured answer above, here were some responses. It's easy to see how these people suffered spiritual burnout, battling these intense emotions and conflicted perspectives...thus the "first domino to fall"...



Our Bible App describes deconstruction as:

“a hot word amongst progressive Christians” that “embodies the personal task of ditching toxic theologies and doctrines for beliefs grounded in love, social justice, and liberation for all.”

Look at that description: ditching “toxic” (aka hard to grapple with? Under what definition of toxic is the writer applying it herein?) theologies and doctrines…those are big words. I’m not saying they’re not important, but those are heady intellectual terms that can get people lost in the weeds, cause petty arguments and denominational divisions. And when that happens, theology and doctrine are tossed out and replaced with “love, social justice, liberation for all.” Ah. That feels so much nicer. I’m sure no one would say these are “easy” states to obtain, but perhaps you can judge a concept’s intended depth by how easy it is to sloganize: Love is so much more fitting for a T-shirt than Doctrine.


And hold up just a moment here: must we throw the baby out with the bath so quickly? Even if we have issues with church doctrine, does that mean we must toss out the Gospel itself? Does disdain for Athanasius call for rejection of Christ?


Finally, notice that in the Our Bible App definition, deconstruction is a “personal task.” This process isolates you from the global Body of Christ, from your church community, and from 2,000+ years of other Christians contending with the faith. If we all burned out and gave up when challenges in faith delivered a sucker punch, would there even be much of a Christian tradition today? Seems like a privilege, to use another “hot word” these days, to take this robust communion of saints for granted and walk away over top the bones of those martyred for refusing to do so.


To those burned out or deconstructing: you may feel you have “nothing more to give”…but don’t you have so much more to receive?


"The Deconstructionist's Handbook" promoted via The Bible App. Refer back to the remarks by @thehonestpastor in the meme above: "...the thing that was the difference in what path we took were the voices we listened to."



SOURCES:

Deconstruction meme = @thehonestpastor

Audrey Assad Instagram post = @theliturgists

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